Autumn? Monday and Tuesday I woke up to incessant foghorns from the Bainbridge/Seattle ferries. Even before I opened my eyes I knew that that other form of morning fog was back. The sort that occurs every year as the weather begins to turn, and that obliterates visibility on the water for the ferry captains. Wednesday evening I heard myself explaining the sudden sky full of August/September termites to an out-of-state guest. Harbingers of fall, and all of that. Then, just as my phone began to buzz in a pocket, a gaggle of geese flew loudly overhead. Honk if you love crispier-than-usual mountain spectacles, set against brilliant fuchsia clouds across the Olympic sunset. The phone caller was Dea. We were way overdue.
You may recall that right before she returned to the island in April, Dea was introduced to about a dozen new tumors that had just announced themselves, uninvited. And you may recall that immediately upon her return to the Pacific Northwest she undertook a wholesale chemotherapy reset with her SCCA medical team. The goal was to address those new interlopers and to outmaneuver some pesky side effects. I’m reading a little between the lines in Dea’s reporting but it seems that, on balance, that May – August chemo regime seems to have been a net positive proposition for the summer. Tumor markers behaved reasonably, and whack-a-mole side effects mostly acceded to carefully aimed blows. However, just as summer turned hard right, those damned side effects seemed to rear up and take over the party. And so Dea was just reporting that her docs have directed her to take a little break from this latest round of chemo, take time to focus on managing the side effects, and take a moment to regroup.
I stopped by the Perry ranch to discuss (pictured above), and we joked that these milestones seem to fall on the cusps of seasons. Dea laughed that this year’s seasons seemed to come all stacked up in layers — with the astronomical seasons having to share space with seasons of a pandemic, the treatment-strategies that only reveal themselves as seasons when they turn from one to another, and then all the other stuff of life that begins to look more and more seasonal when you find the space to see the broader pattern. Oh, you know we were getting into it over at Chez Perry when these notions reminded Dea of a poem that her Buddhist chaplain friend had just shared with her. And she suggested that we share this excerpt with all of you in the DP circle.
HOW SURELY GRAVITY’S LAW
Rainer Maria Rilke
How surely gravity’s law,
strong as an ocean current,
takes hold of even the smallest thing
and pulls it toward the heart of the world…
If we surrendered
to earth’s intelligence
we could rise up rooted, like trees.
Instead we entangle ourselves
in knots of our own making
and struggle, lonely and confused.
So like children, we begin again…
to fall,
patiently to trust our heaviness.
Even a bird has to do that
before he can fly.
Amen, sister. Thank you for that piece of perspective. Dea is hunkering down for this next season, in a handful of ways, and reports that she is feeling that heart of the world. And as I prepare a Perry dinner for tonight, I’m noticing that the we just finished the summer meal calendar! So I have posted a new one for September – October. When I begin to notice this broader pattern as a sign of another season turning, I have to smile at the community of it all. The way we have all come to share seasons in this tradition, virtually, with the Perrys and with each other.
Dea caught word that some of us were resurrecting the meal train, and she just called to gush gratitude — and ask that I emphasize the depths of love and connection and appreciation that she, Peter, and Ricky are all feeling in this circle of heart. Somehow, her call reminded me of some photos she sent me a month ago, during a particularly safe dinner delivery. Near the beginning of August someone reminded the Danzig’s how important it is to suit up with protective Covid gear, and apparently Brian responded by inventing a protective outfit that insured minimum respiratory droplet and maximum social distance at the same time. Signed, sealed, and delivered. You set the bar for safety, man.
Happy fall, friends. Would anyone like to join me at the new Perry meal sign up page? And grab a line or two? The sign up sheet is here. Gold studded belts are optional in this round, but bell bottoms are strongly advised.